Couples therapists John and Julie Gottman say that marriage takes hard work – but that it needs to be the right work. I am a strong believer in the power of good relationship work: you shouldn’t have to be stuck in a spiral of miscommunication and disconnection simply because you don’t know the right steps to get out. Couples therapy is designed to help you escape the bad communication cycles you can’t seem to break on your own — with warmth, empathy, and a little bit of hard work.
Work that is thoughtful, positive, honest, and curious can move your relationship forward, giving you solid ground to stand on forever. Something you can lean on even in the hardest of times.
What is the work we do in couples therapy?
Thoughtfully approaching hard topics – and responding with warmth even when you’re in conflict.
Appreciating your partner’s strengths, using positive energy to build the relationship you want.
Being honest with yourself and taking responsibility when you’ve brought something negative into the relationship.
Leaning into hard discussions from a place of curiosity, while managing the urge to criticize, blame, or defend yourself.
Therapy can help you talk through the hardest of topics in a way that strengthens your relationship, helps you get to know one another better, and and actually resolves disagreements for good. I have training to Level 3 in Gottman Method Therapy, the gold-standard in couples treatment.
Gottman Method Therapy uses a structured approach to helping couples rebuild lost connection and talk through anything. We start with a thorough assessment to identify relationship strengths and areas for growth, move into a skills-building process to internalize the evidence-based communication skills associated with “master couples,” identify fun homework assignments designed to build intimacy and ignite your sex life, and graduate out of therapy once you’re in a place of warmth and connection.
I take a conversational approach to sessions; we don’t work off of worksheets or focus on one-size-fits-all discussions. Session by session, you bring in the topics that are important to you, and I give you all the the skills you need to talk through them.